Tag: Fear

Feeling the Fear

Published on by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Fear can stop us from doing many things in life, from applying for a job we don’t think we deserve or don’t think we have quite got enough skills for, from asking someone out on a date, to jumping from a plane skydiving.  The challenge is to manage the mind conversation that can stop us from doing things we would like to do.   Byron Katie,  developed this method called The Work,  a great technique to unravel the stuff that goes on in our minds, to challenge the stories and check for what is really true.

The 4 questions are:

1.   Is it True?

2.   Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3.   How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4.   Who would you be without the thought?

Here’s an example of a conversation that might go on in your mind –

1. Is it true I’m really bad at job interviews?    Yes. 

2. But can I absolutely know it’s true?  – well I guess not as I got my current job through an interview. 

3. How do I feel when I believe this thought?  Well worried, scared and panicky.

4. Without this thought –  I would be confident self-assured and go into the interview fighting!

So try this out next time when you think or feel as though you can’t do something and your feeling that fear.   Don’t let your thoughts control you take control of your thoughts.  🙂

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Time to take a risk?

Published on by Allison FisherLeave a comment

How often do we keep our most treasured ideas or desires a secret?  Is there one thing you dream about that no one else knows.  Is there something you long to do or be that keeps being put on the back burner?  Is it a new business idea, would you like to learn line dancing, be a public speaker or write a book?  Or just to be a better friend or learn how to garden?

Sometimes the things we haven’t told anyone hold the most risk for us.  The risk of failure, disappointment or rejection.  But if you play it safe you also don’t experience the joy of success, the joy of experiencing something new and uplifting.

So what if today you decide to throw caution to the wind and make your desire, your dream a priority.  Share it with someone – what is the worst that could happen?

And when the fear comes, or perhaps it’s there already, just remember no one died from disappointment or failure but people do die with regrets.

What are you afraid of?

Published on by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Quote – “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do“.  Georgia O’Keefe

I love the quote above.   Many people are afraid a lot of the time but it’s how much we let the fear control what we do or don’t do that makes the difference to living a full life.  Fear can of course be a warning of danger but can also motivate us to make changes and be a call to take action.  Life Coach Cheryl Richardson believes 3 things need to be present in order to manage fear.

1. Friends.  Too many of us try to do things alone.  The minute you notice feelings of fear and know that you can’t push through it find someone who may be able to help and support you.

2. Facts.  Sometimes we just don’ t have enough information to be able to move forward and make decisions.  We even blame it on being indecisive but often we just need more information.  Sometimes we try to do things and take action without having all the facts that will reassure us.   Find out as much as you can about the topic, issue or area you have fears about.  Once you have all the information this can be reassuring and lessen the fear.  Fear won’t necessarily go away but it will diminish.

3. Faith.  So once you have support in place and have all the information you need then of course you will need to leap!  Take action in spite of the fear and have faith that things will work out in the way they are meant to, whichever way that is!

If you had no Fear….?

Published on by Allison Fisher2 Comments

Sometimes in our lives Fear can overcome us so much that we don’t do what we really want to do.  Sometimes we don’t even realise what is happening as   our fear manifests in beliefs we have eg “I’m not good enough to do that”; “I’m not coordinated enough or sporty enough”; ” I don’t have the qualifications” etc.  And sometimes we simply put up barriers or have excuses – “I just don’t have time right now” “My family really needs me I can’t possibly go and do something I might enjoy”; “I’ll do it next year.”

When you get a hunch that you might be scared to do something a good tool is to confront it.  Try and make it your best friend, stare it in the face and find out its ins and outs.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said,  “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Also knowledge about what lies ahead can empower and help conquer fears.  I often find this with job search for people.  Once they do some delving whether it’s about how can they get into a job they want or finding out more about the area they want to get into, then making decisions about their direction is so much easier.  Information is power!  Remember Rumpelstiltskin?  He was destroyed once the miller’s daughter learned his name and called it out.  When we name our fears, bring them out into the open, and examine them in the light, they weaken and wither.

So what would you do in life if you had no fear?