I guess it is in a way but isn’t it much better to decide what you want and create it while you’re in this world rather than someone else writing your obituary once you’ve gone?
It can be a really useful way to identify what you do want and what you want to achieve in life, then you can go about creating it.
Here’s an article in the January edition of the NZ publication of NEXT magazine about 3 inspiring and very normal women who wrote their obituary. They each worked with a life coach and I was lucky enough to be one of those, to assist them to identify what they wanted in their lives.
This could be your beginning in 2014. Either write it all at once or write it bit by bit tuning into what might excite and stimulate you to be able to really live and enjoy the life you have. Key question is WHAT DO YOU WANT? So give it a go, have a play, this is just for you and it doesn’t need to be perfect.
I’d love to receive your obituary or plan for 2014 or you could call or email me at Allison Fisher, Career & Life Coaching to discuss what you would like to create.
To all my teenagers, parents, career explorers and life changers. To those who have learnt more about themselves, those who had the courage to reach out, those whose pain is still raw, and to those who I have connected with in some way I would like to give you a gift for Christmas.
Through my Career Coaching and Life Coaching work I have met many wonderful people. I thank you for your honesty and openness.
To thank you I’ve gathered together some articles for you to simply enjoy. Here are a whole variety of articles from ideas on social media to living a full life:
Please relax in the holidays, and as you reflect aim to let go of the stuff in 2013 that you don’t need anymore and ask yourself, what do you want to bring into your world in 2014?
A very merry Christmas to you all.
Did you stop or start a habit or learn a new skill, a new language or a new sport?
Did you change a belief about something or someone?
Did you have fun, find new friends, begin a new relationship?
Did you grab life and love being who you are?
If you didn’t achieve what you wanted, what happened??
5 Reasons Why We Don’t Achieve Our Goals
Too many goals – so many wonderful things to do in life but overwhelm kicks in with the enormity of it all, it’s all too hard then nothing happens
Lack of Planning – yep you want to do it but somehow something else always got in the way
Too big – the dream or goal just seemed so big and you just didn’t know where to start
Lack of belief – did you really truly believe you could achieve it? Was there self-doubt or a lack of confidence?
The Why – sometimes we think a goal is important but then find the reason we wanted to do it actually isn’t a strong enough motivation to achieve it
So for your first goal commit to creating powerful goals and doing them well.
As a Career & Life Coach I’ve always believed that everyone has a special something that they are gifted to do, that special talent that we are born with, the something we love to do and are good at. I’ve discussed this often in career coaching and life coaching sessions and have just read a book that sang to me about this very fact. It’s called The Spark: a mother’s story of Nurturing Genius by Kristine Barnett.A true story about her autistic son, Jacob.
This book is about the power of love and courage in the face of overwhelming obstacles, and the possibilities that can occur when we learn how to tap the true potential that lies within every child, and in all of us.
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Kristine made available all the usual therapies for Jacob from the age of 18 months after discovering he had autism and was slowly retreating from the world. However in therapy she realised that he was doing things he really wasn’t interested in doing rather than the things he was interested in.
Kristine and Jacob
Typical Therapy sessions focused on the lowest skills. Kristine says “I’d watched my son nod off during a session still holding a therapy putty ball. So instead of hammering away at all the tasks these kid’s couldn’t do. I thought we’d start with what they wanted to do.” (pg 68) Through this approach nd a lot of hard work Jacob gradually came out of himself.
Kristine goes on to say “It’s hard for many people to relate to, but Jake genuinely thinks math and science are the most beautiful things on earth. The way a music lover thrills to a crescendo, the way a lifelong reader catches her breath in delight over a perfectly crafted phrase” (pg 202)
Jacob does have an extremely high IQ, higher than Einstein’s! Very exceptional in that sense however these principles were proven to be successful with other autistic children and teenagers when Kristine opened a school for autistic children. There were many examples of children with varying IQ’s that once Kristine and her helpers found their interest whether it was cooking, maths, writing or making clothes, once that passion was found then the kids would develop in other areas too.
Kristine believes all we have to do is find the gift in the child and the other stuff that they aren’t so good at or don’t like to do will come along just fine as long as they have a passion, something they love to do.
Jacob at the tender age of 15 is currently studying theoretical physics at the Perimeter Institute in Toronto! Just imagine if his parents hadn’t allowed him to focus on what he loved what the world may have lost.
So for you what is your spark, the “thing”, the talent that you have that is unique to you and you love to do? Would love to hear about it or discuss how you could discover it. Contact Allison Fisher, Career and Life Coaching.
I recently read the singer Shania Twain’s autobiography. She grew up in a poor family and literally went hungry at times, lost her mother when she was young and had a terrible betrayal by her best friend and then husband. I loved this quote:
Even when life hits you like a Mack truck that’s come out of nowhere, there is still a chance that you will survive, and although the road to recovery may be slow , long , and even permanent, this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the rest of your life and be happy again. (Page 397)
It really struck me what perfect words for pain and joy. Life isn’t perfect and often doesn’t deliver all we want. However it can be possible to live with both – the pain of what has happened and the joy of a happy life. In coaching I find people sometimes struggle to talk about the pain but the best way forward is to speak of it. Let me know your experiences of life struggles and being able to feel the joy again. Contact Allison Fisher, Career & Life Coaching.
Decisions can be so difficult at times and as a coach coaching clients, when a decision needs to be made by them it can be tough to decide what is the best decision in this moment, the best course of action or simply what do I really want? A useful way to make decisions is to ask yourself which of the options is a 10? 10 meaning the best possible option, makes you feel great, gives great satisfaction or excitement, a 10 means you really want to do it. It just feels right! For instance taking up a new hobby and deciding which one to choose. Choose the one closest to a 10. If your asked to go away with friends for a weekend but you also want to stay home with your partner. Ask yourself which is a 10? And if not what number is it? If the weekend was a 10 what would you be doing? Similarly performance in a job or career what does a 10 mean? What are you doing, being or achieving that will make it a 10? Is an 8 or 9 good enough? Sometimes there is so much to do in life and asking the 10 question can really help to reduce the options to the ones you really want to do. Ask yourself each morning what will make my day a 10? Find out more as I discuss this further in my recent newsletter Living from a 10.
To discuss your Career or Life journey give Allison a call today.
Life coaching is not only about your life but extend this to how relationships impact on your happiness and contentment levels.
Relationships can at times can get neglected and taken for granted. Here are 6 reminders to take care of your intimate relationship.
Identify what gets in the way of spending time together. Is it worrying about finances, is it work, is it a life packed so full there is no time for each other? Identify the what is missing in your lives together and holding you back from creating that special space and time for each other AND then together create the space for each other.
Leave the Baggage behind – every person on the face of the Earth has some kind of history, or “baggage”,
although at varying levels. Do not walk into a relationship with your arms loaded with that baggage. The past is the past. Even though there are things from the past that are hurtful, and even damaging, learn from those things and come out a better and stronger person.
Realistic Expectations – no matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your mate and yourself are realistic. Life change, career changes, people change and these can all impact on your mate’s here and now. There are going to be differences in opinion, and probably some disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about something. When discussing something important to you, ensure that you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs.
Start a memory box to store old movie tickets, brochures from cities visited, concert ticket stubs, old ski lift passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your mate, anything that the two of you did together. Every once in awhile, pull the box out and look at the
items with your mate.
Special gifts – these do not need to be expenisve but a surprise gift to your loved one show’s you are thinking of them and appreciate them. For instance cook their favourite meal and dress in a sexy way, make a hand made card, or buy something that they have been wanting for a while.
Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate – compliments and thank you’s can never be used enough. When he fixes the leak in the bathroom tell him he is handy with the tools, when she is generous to your mother then compliment on her generosity. Just like the cliché, “If you do not have something nice to say, then do not say anything at all.” This is very true – take notice of the good things your mate does and make it known to them that you see and appreciate those things.
As an Auckland life coach, I often meet with families and partners in order to identify passion, talents and skills and build new confidence in the life you are creating for yourself. Contact Allison Fisher | Specialist in supporting adults and teenagers in career and life choices for more information.
Ever written your obituary? Sound strange? 
