Relationships – Career and Life Coaching

What Does Christmas Mean To You?

Published on December 1, 2014February 29, 2016 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Christmas day does not have to mean the traditional large family, turkey, ham and beautiful summers day. Christmas isn’t like that for many and who is to say what is the best kind of Christmas anyway? Having expectations of what things are “supposed” to be at Christmas can create disappointment and dissatisfaction. Also the mind will start comparing what others do and have, and ask Why aren’t we like them!! Not great for confidence! This Christmas you decide what you want it to be and with who.

So here are a couple of things to remember at this time of year –

a) What you see in others isn’t necessarily what is real. Read the glossy gossip magazines and everyone seems like they have such happy families and going to have an amazing Christmas. Really??? I think not – often what is portrayed is the good stuff not the hard tough, tragic stuff that happens within families.

b) Love what you have. This isn’t the time to wish for a different life/family/mother/house/ in law etc. This is the time to acknowledge what you do have, whether it’s the love of a wonderful friendship, your gorgeous puppy or a lovely spouse.

c) What can you do with what you have? How about deciding how you would like your Christmas to be this year. Forget about “supposed to” and think about wants. What is the food you can afford and would like? How can you make it interesting? Who do you really want to spend Christmas day with and where would you like it to be? On the beach, at a cafe, in the bush?

This year make Christmas special for you in whatever way that is.

What ever you do wherever you are, have a merry Christmas day and may 2015 bring all you wish for and all the love you need.

Warmest

Allison

Contact Allison Fisher, Career & Life Coaching to discover and achieve what you want in 2015.

Be your own Life Coach, write your Obituary!

Published on January 21, 2014April 25, 2016 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Ever written your obituary? Sound strange?

I guess it is in a way but isn’t it much better to decide what you want and create it while you’re in this world rather than someone else writing your obituary once you’ve gone?

It can be a really useful way to identify what you do want and what you want to achieve in life, then you can go about creating it.

Here’s an article in the January edition of the NZ publication of NEXT magazine about 3 inspiring and very normal women who wrote their obituary. They each worked with a life coach and I was lucky enough to be one of those, to assist them to identify what they wanted in their lives.

This could be your beginning in 2014. Either write it all at once or write it bit by bit tuning into what might excite and stimulate you to be able to really live and enjoy the life you have. Key question is WHAT DO YOU WANT? So give it a go, have a play, this is just for you and it doesn’t need to be perfect.

I’d love to receive your obituary or plan for 2014 or you could call or email me at Allison Fisher, Career & Life Coaching to discuss what you would like to create.

Here we go 2014 let’s do it!

Life Coaching | Be Kind To Your Mate!

Published on July 9, 2013July 3, 2013 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Life coaching is not only about your life but extend this to how relationships impact on your happiness and contentment levels.

Relationships can at times can get neglected and taken for granted. Here are 6 reminders to take care of your intimate relationship.

Identify what gets in the way of spending time together. Is it worrying about finances, is it work, is it a life packed so full there is no time for each other? Identify the what is missing in your lives together and holding you back from creating that special space and time for each other AND then together create the space for each other.
Leave the Baggage behind – every person on the face of the Earth has some kind of history, or “baggage”,
although at varying levels. Do not walk into a relationship with your arms loaded with that baggage. The past is the past. Even though there are things from the past that are hurtful, and even damaging, learn from those things and come out a better and stronger person.
Realistic Expectations – no matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your mate and yourself are realistic. Life change, career changes, people change and these can all impact on your mate’s here and now. There are going to be differences in opinion, and probably some disagreements. Also, do not assume that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about something. When discussing something important to you, ensure that you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs.
Start a memory box to store old movie tickets, brochures from cities visited, concert ticket stubs, old ski lift passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your mate, anything that the two of you did together. Every once in awhile, pull the box out and look at the
items with your mate.
Special gifts – these do not need to be expenisve but a surprise gift to your loved one show’s you are thinking of them and appreciate them. For instance cook their favourite meal and dress in a sexy way, make a hand made card, or buy something that they have been wanting for a while.
Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate – compliments and thank you’s can never be used enough. When he fixes the leak in the bathroom tell him he is handy with the tools, when she is generous to your mother then compliment on her generosity. Just like the cliché, “If you do not have something nice to say, then do not say anything at all.” This is very true – take notice of the good things your mate does and make it known to them that you see and appreciate those things.

As an Auckland life coach, I often meet with families and partners in order to identify passion, talents and skills and build new confidence in the life you are creating for yourself. Contact Allison Fisher | Specialist in supporting adults and teenagers in career and life choices for more information.

Visit my website at www.auckland-lifecoach.co.nz for a list of my Career and Life Coaching Services.

Life Coaching and Career Choices | Turning on to Social Media

Published on May 6, 2013May 8, 2013 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

As a life and career coach my day is busy as I focus on my client’s whether student or professional person assisting them with their career and life goals.

Yes I have been dragging the chain with Social Media communications but last week finally getting things sorted and got some help to progress this area, from Cathy Mellett at Netbranding, in both my business and personal areas. It gave me pause to think more closely about this forum, how I want to use it and how it can be misused.

I do think Social Media needs to be about balance. Let’s be clear Facebook or some other social media forums should not be a replacement for communicating with each other. It certainly can enhance and assist us to keep in communication, send photo’s of travels and fun times, keep in touch easily with people overseas and share stories. But good friendships are about intimacy – In-to-me-you-see – short comments on twitter or Facebook won’t enable people to really share what is going on for them. And also we can get it wrong! We can misinterpret what someone means or their intent in these quick communication flashes. I wonder if those growing up with social media understand the difference? I know of teenagers who think their best friend is someone on Facebook but they have never met them!

As a life coach and mentor to young teenagers and student, discussing their social media networking profiles as a future point for employers to review is an important element for a young adult to embrace. We often reflect on this during our one-on-one career and life coaching programs.

I will certainly communicate more often now through social media but I like nothing better than picking up the phone talking directly with people with all the subtleties, nuances and feelings that a voice contributes.

If you would like to connect with me regarding my one on one career and life coaching programs please contact me.

Allison Fisher

Worried about family interactions at Christmas?

Published on December 5, 2012 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Christmas can be such a fun and exciting time and a time to connect with others. However it can also be a time of being really aware of what we think we don’t have in our families and perhaps get triggered by people or events. Sometimes being with family can be a blessing however other times…..???

So how about preparing yourself for this festive day to ensure you do have a good time rather than a time of wishing you weren’t there or even had a different family altogether?!!

To help, consider the answers to these questions below to try to manage those thoughts that come up and to be really prepared.

Who is it that is likely to trigger you? Mother, mother in law, brother, husband?

What happens when this trigger occurs? What are your thoughts and feelings? How old are you? I ask this last question as often we revert to a childlike state when we get anxious in these situations. So the thoughts we have may come from when we were a lot younger. and may not necessarily be the adult you.

Once you’ve clarified the triggers then decide how would you like to be on Christmas day? Do you choose to be happy? Do you choose just for today to care for everyone in your family? Do you choose today to enjoy yourself no matter what?

If those triggers arise and you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts or feeling less than or unloved how can you turn that around at the time to ensure you don’t feel victimized?

Could you remember your strengths and talents. Remember a time when you were confident? Remember a time that the person did do or say something nice to you? And check in with yourself in the moment – did they really mean that or are you feeling sensitive today?

So decide before Christmas day how you want to be, take control of your thoughts and emotions. If you don’t you may be at the mercy of your child within.

It is not about pushing aside what may have happened in the past but choosing to hold both – the family history and dynamics as well as choosing to enjoy your christmas.

A very merry christmas to you.

Achievements

Published on November 9, 2011November 11, 2011 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

Now is a good time to assess your achievements for the year. It’s a really good idea to affirm and celebrate your self before exploring what you would like to achieve next year. Set aside some time to reflect all you have done right in the past year. Try and write down 20 things that you are most proud of over the past months. You might like to do this over the next week and keep a piece of paper close by to write things down when you think of them. Here are some questions to help you –

🙂 What have you achieved or accomplished? 🙂 What qualities of character have you developed or strengthened? 🙂 Have you supported others in some way? 🙂 What special memories do you have with those you love? Once you have completed this then share your achievements with good friends and celebrate them! Remember this is what you have achieved and you darn well deserve a pat on the back. Enjoy your YOU celebration time. 🙂

Let’s Celebrate

Published on November 2, 2011 by Allison FisherLeave a comment

After the wonder of the world cup celebrations why not keep the momentum going. It’s so easy to get on with the mundane and forget to stop and smile and enjoy! Do some things to keep that celebratory feeling and acknowledgment of self and others. Here are some ideas:

1. Every day make sure you acknowledge one person, maybe a trait you like in them, something they did which deserves praise or how they look.

2. If someone has a birthday think of new ways to make them feel special.

3. Celebrate the little things. For instance your teenager took out the rubbish without asking – go over the top in acknowledging them, dance around them, try to hug them and tell them how wonderful they are!

4. Ring someone out of the blue and tell them just how much you admire them.

5. And remember celebrate your own successes everyday! And how would you like to do that? A quiet glass of wine at night acknowledging the good things you did that day, a walk on the beach, taking yourself off for a beauty treatment? Maybe it’s actually telling someone what you achieved and feel proud of. I think we don’t do this enough we tend to keep these things to ourselves and not share to our good mates.

So think up your own ideas to keep up the celebration as there is much to celebrate in our wonderful country New Zealand.